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TGIF, how is everyone doing this week? I'm finally getting outside after 8 coaching sessions today (and being mes-mo-ized by the hummingbirds on my porch)!
3 days ago
Who here has good boundaries? Or issues setting good boundaries?
Most people think having boundaries means keeping people out.
It means you get to choose who comes in, and, on what terms.
But if you were never taught that your needs mattered, setting a boundary can feel like a betrayal - of them, of the relationship, of who you've always been and who others expect you to be.
I'm here to tell you: It's not.
Setting a boundary is actually the most honest thing you can do.
Here's a simple place to start:
1. Notice before you name it.
Where do you feel resentful, angry, drained, or used? That's your signal that a boundary needs to be set or revisited.
2. Get clear on what you actually need.
Not what's "reasonable" or not what they'll accept. What YOU need. A boundary rooted in your actual need is one you will actually honor and hold.
3. Say it simply to the other person without over-explaining.
You don't need a five-paragraph essay to justify a limit. "I'm not available for that" is a full sentence. The urge to over-explain is usually about managing their reaction, *not* communicating your truth.
4. Honor the boundary, even when it's uncomfortable.
Someone pushing back on your boundary isn't proof it was wrong.... it's often proof it was necessary.
Boundaries aren't about control. They're about clarity - clarity for the other person AND for yourself.
๐ฌ Which of these steps feels hardest for you? Tell me in the comments.
๐๏ธ Want to go deeper? This is exactly the kind of work we explore on Beyond the Type โ find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
#boundaries #selfawareness #innerwork
4 days ago
Here's a couple things I'm secretly proud of... and it's not something I share often because I often get blank stares or a change of subject:
1) I have birded every day for over a year (406 days to be exact).
2) I have over 600 checklists on eBird (swipe through for proof!)
(๐ฅ๐ช๐ฅ๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ด๐ต๐ข๐ณ๐ต ๐ถ๐ด๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฆ๐๐ช๐ณ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐๐ฆ๐ณ๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ต๐ช๐ญ ๐ข ๐บ๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ ๐ข๐จ๐ฐ - ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต'๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ด๐ต๐ฐ๐ณ๐บ ๐ข๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ด๐ช๐ต๐ข๐ฏ๐ค๐บ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ถ๐ด๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฆ๐ค๐ฉ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ญ)
Another fun fact about me: The person I wanted to meet the most when I was in second grade?
John James Audubon.
Bird-nerd alert!!! ๐คฃ
But the thing is, I still do share about my nerdiness when it feels right. When I'm in the right company.
Birders tend to sense other birders; we are all part of the same "flock". ๐
And those who laugh uncomfortably or change the subject?
Those ain't my people.
๐๐ป๐ฑ ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐'๐ ๐ผ๐ธ.
Any other bird-nerds out there...??
#birdnerd #birding #birdwatchers #birdwatching
2 weeks ago
Before the pandemic, 43% of U.S. adults rated their mental health as "excellent."
Now? In 2026? that number is 29%.
That is a significant drop. AND, we are spending MORE money on mental health than ever before. Therapy is more accessible. There are apps and books and retreats and podcasts,and every kind of resource you can imagine.
And still - people are struggling.
I think that at the heart of it, it's this:
People are lonely. Really, truly lonely.
And not in the way we usually think about loneliness, like sitting alone on a Friday night with your cat and a bowl of cereal. (No judgment, I've been there.)
I mean a deeper kind of loneliness. The kind that can follow you right into a crowded room.
Social media and likes and comments are fun - and those hits can mimic connection and feel like connection.
But it is not the same thing.
So the world has changed. The way we communicate has changed. The way we work has changed. And what has NOT changed is this:
The human need to be truly known by another person.
That has not changed. Not since the 1980s, not since the 1880s, not ever. The ache underneath loneliness is the same ache it has always been:
I see you. Do you see me? Am I known? Do I matter?
That's it. That's the whole thing.
And what this tells me, and what I see confirmed over and over in my work with clients, is that the solution is also not new. It is not an app. It is not a productivity strategy.
It is inner work, and it is the willingness to show up, vulnerably and imperfectly, for that real human connection.
It can be hard to connect these days. What have you done to build real, true connection w/ other human beings? lmk in the comments, and if you'd like to hear what tips I came up with, check out the latest podcast ep of "Beyond the Type". Link in bio.
#connection #loneliness #relationships #belonging #fittingin #friendships
2 weeks ago
For a long time, I carried the belief that I didn't have a strong voice:
I didn't believe what I had to say was worth saying. Or worth hearing.
That belief showed up everywhere. In conversations where I held back. In rooms where I stayed quiet. In ideas I didn't share because I assumed someone else had already said it better.
And here's what I did NOT do to change it:
I didn't just decide to believe something different. I didn't paste an affirmation on my mirror that said "I HAVE A POWERFUL VOICE" โ because at the time, that would have felt like a lie, and the nervous system knows when you're lying to it.
Instead, I started small. With what was already true.
I have a voice. (True.)
I have things worth saying. (Also true.)
I am learning to use my voice more effectively. (True, and still true today.)
These were small and honest, which my body could lean into.
The hard work? Repeating them โearly and oftenโ and over and over and over again.
This is how to shift a belief. Itโs not a dramatic flip.
Itโs a gradual, gentle rewrite.
I talk through this whole process (and walk you through the exercises)in my latest podcast episode. Link in bio.
#believeinyourself #limitingbeliefs #personalgrowth #selfworth #enneagram #beyondthetype #mindset #coaching
3 weeks ago
You can be full and still be starving.
A full calendar. A full table. A full feed.
And still feel completely empty.
That's relational hunger. It's not about how many people are around you. It's about whether any of them actually know you.
Not your highlight reel. Not your "I'm fine." You.
The real version. The unedited one.
That's what we're all hungry for.
And most of us aren't getting nearly enough of it.
New episode on loneliness, belonging, and real connection. Link in bio.
3 weeks ago
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