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Dolly Parton’s Enneagram type? I have no idea. Truly. In this episode, I use Dolly as a case study in motivation, instinctual subtypes, and the danger of assuming we know someone based on their behavior. We’ll look at Types 2, 3, and 9, and explore why the Enneagram is most useful when it makes us more curious, not more certain. And yes, there’s a little “cup of ambition” along the way. ☕😅 Whether you’re an Enneagram nerd, a fellow coach, or simply someone trying to understand the people in your life a little better, there is a useful question underneath all of this: What if you’re wrong about what you think you know about someone? And what becomes possible when you stay curious long enough to find out? Link to Beyond the Type in my bio, or find wherever you listen to podcasts. #enneagram #dollyparton #type3 #type2 #type9 #curiosity #motivation #subtypes

No, these are *not* AI-generated (don't get me started on those). Funny story about these pics is that the photographer is someone very close to me, which presented a bit of a problem: The photographer was me. I used to do a lot of headshot and portrait photography, but hadn't picked up my camera since before the pandemic. I've taken pics of myself before, so how hard could it be? Like riding a bicycle, right? Oof-da, as my Scandinavian ancestors would say. My remote shutter release needed a new battery (despite me testing everything the night before the shoot), but I figured I could do without. Much hilarity ensued (for my camera, not for me). I eventually gave up on the "try to focus on something, set the timer, run into the shot while shoving the item I was focusing on out of frame, make sure my hair was ok, smile, and hope for the best". Exhausting. I eventually took 30 minutes to stop the insanity, went to the nearest drugstore, and bought a freakin' battery. What a difference. Some of these photos were taken pre-new-battery, some after. Can you tell the difference? And if you're in the Chicago area and looking for a new headshot and are sick of AI "headshots", lmk. Maybe I'll dust off the rest of my gear and get back into it. Maybe. ;)

There's a version of caring that looks like this: Showing up early, staying late, remembering every detail, giving more than was ever asked of you. And it looks generous. It looks like love. What’s wrong with that?? Well, sometimes it is those things. And sometimes it's something else entirely. This kind of “caring” can be a way of proving you're worth keeping around. A way of making sure nobody has a reason to leave you. Here's the difference: There's "I want to do this for you," and there's "I need to do this so I know we're okay." The first one is lovely and authentic - with no strings attached. The second one can cost you your own needs, your own time, and eventually, if you're not careful, you can end up with resentment toward the very people you were trying to take care of. Bottom line: You don't have to earn your place in someone's life by running yourself into the ground. Care that requires you to be exhausted isn't sustainable. And I’ll bet it's not actually the kind of care you want to be known for. I talk about this pattern, and eight others like it, in the latest episode of Beyond the Type. I also talk about what each pattern costs us, and what it might look like to choose differently. New episode is up now, link in my bio or find Beyond the Type wherever you listen to podcasts. #peoplepleasing #Enneagram #podcast

Have you ever realized you're doing a job you never actually applied for? Not your real job, I mean the invisible one. The one where you're always proving something, fixing something, managing something, or making sure everyone around you is okay. Here's the thing: There was no interview for this job. Nobody sat you down and offered you the position. You probably started doing some version of it a long time ago, maybe even as a kid, and at some point it got so familiar, you stopped noticing you were doing it at all. "Jobs" like these don't pay. They actually cost you. The cost is exhaustion, resentment, or becoming distant from the very people you're trying to take care of. I break this down using the Enneagram as a framework for 9 specific "jobs" each of us has (whether we like it or not!) and talk about it in the latest episode of Beyond the Type. I speak to what each job looks like, what it costs, and what to do instead. Link in bio or find wherever you listen to podcasts. #enneagram #peoplepleasing #selftrust #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment

There’s a version of being “easy to be around” that can look a lot like being a good person. You’re flexible. You don’t make a big deal out of things. You can see everyone else’s side. You’re willing to help. You don’t want to create unnecessary conflict. You can adapt. And you may be very good at it! The problem comes when being easy for everyone means that finding YOU becomes harder and harder. You say, “Whatever works for you,” when you actually do have a preference. You say yes before you’ve checked whether you have the capacity. You explain yourself three different ways because you’re worried someone might be upset. Then one day you realize you’re irritated, exhausted, or resentful, and you don’t know why. Sometimes the issue isn’t that you’re giving too much; it’s that you’ve been leaving *yourself* out of the equation. Caring about other people doesn’t require you to disappear. There is a difference between being easy to be around and being at ease with yourself. And learning to notice that difference can start with something very small: before you automatically say yes, agree, accommodate, explain, or smooth something over, do this: Give yourself a moment to find out what you actually think before letting the autopilot take over as it’s always done. You might still choose the same thing. But this time, you chose it. It didn’t make the choice *for* you. That’s one of the ideas I explore in my latest episode on Beyond the Type podcast: How Your Enneagram Type Runs Your Life: The “Job” You Never Signed Up For. I look at the invisible roles we can fall into, why we take them on, what they can cost us, and what happens when we stop letting them make every decision for us. Link in my bio, or find wherever you listen to podcasts. #podcast #peoplepleasing #selftrust #conflictavoidance #communicationskills

Spent three days at the Wisconsin State Fair @wistatefair - as I have for the past several years - helping sister with her horticulture exhibits. 16,000 steps a day some days! 🥴 Boy am I pooped. 💩 Anyone going to or looking forward to county/state fairs this summer? #WiStateFair #MnStateFair #blueribbon #cheese #dairystate