Sleep: The Reason Why We’re All A Mess (and what to do to help!)

Sleep.  You elusive mistress.  Why must you torture and tease us so?

(this is just one thought that goes through my head when lying awake in bed trying to get to sleep…. be grateful I don’t share more)

Seriously, though, sleep is one of those hot topics right now.  Because as it turns out, sleep is quite important.  But we all know that, don’t we? So, I won’t bore you with the studies and science behind why sleep is important.

Sleep – what’s up with our species?!

I will say that we humans are the only species that deprive ourselves of sleep ON PURPOSE.  What the actual heck?  Are we that dumb (rhetorical!)?

There are a few things going on here that are messing with our sleep.

Nope, after thinking about this, there’s just one reason.

Our culture.

Our modern-day culture has messed up our sleep habits and patterns – in so many ways.

How Our Current Culture Has Messed With Our Sleep.

I’ll break things down now, thanks for your patience:

• Electricity.  This includes TVs, computers, and phones. Light helps us work and play well into the night.  Without light, we probably wouldn’t be as inspired to organize our spice cabinet, write our thesis on why we don’t sleep, or continue socializing with friends (although there are several perfectly cromulent night-time activities that don’t necessarily require lights…).

When you add-on the 24-hour news cycle and social media – two things that require electricity and then suck us in using very sneaky techniques to keep us using our devices – it’s a wonder we sleep at all.

This interesting study on screen time and sleep states that:  “…researchers have pinpointed how certain cells in the eye process ambient light and reset our internal clocks, the daily cycles of physiological processes known as the circadian rhythm. When these cells are exposed to artificial light late into the night, our internal clocks can get confused, resulting in a host of health issues.”

• Food.  It’s usually everywhere, and usually accessible at any time of day or night.  This is a huge problem.

We were born to hunt and gather. We ate when we found food.  Very little was stored. We didn’t get up in the night because we couldn’t sleep and decide to raid the fridge because we were bored – and way back when refrigerators didn’t even exist (see #1 above).

Our bodies expected times of feast and famine, even on a day-to-day basis.  This may be why so many people do so well with intermittent fasting (IF), as it mimics what the human body was designed for.

NOTE:  Please work with a doctor if you are curious about IF;  chronic illness or other health issues can be really, really hard on the body – piling IF on top may be too much for some bodies to handle.

• Medications.  Our culture has a “magic pill” for everything, or so it seems.  Sometimes the side effects (or interactions with other meds) are… you guessed it, insomnia.  So you get yet another pill for sleep.  And so it goes.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again here:  I have a friend who went off of 13 (!!) medications after cleaning up her diet and focusing on lifestyle change/habits.  The fewer meds, the fewer side-effects and potential interactions.

Yes, some meds are necessary. I love my thyroid replacement hormone!  But so many meds can be avoided if we do the hard work ourselves. The thing is, not everyone wants to do the work, which leads me to:

• Peer Pressure and Stress.  There is SO much pressure in today’s world to work, achieve, to get higher-faster-louder.  There is no time to rest and reset.  Peer pressure from work and friends have us working too much, drinking too much, and eating too much – or eating at the wrong times or eating the wrong things (processed foods and sugar come to mind, more on that in a sec). Gotta keep up with the Joneses!

And this whole sleep thing can seem like another job that we just don’t have time for.  Who needs that stress?

The ironic thing is that once we figure out why we’re not sleeping and address it, we’ll be in a much better place to deal with the stressors of everyday life.

What Can Be Done to Help My Sleep?

Here are six simple things you can do right here, right now, to help your sleep. No doctor’s order needed.

• Caffeine.  Avoid it if possible, for a few weeks at least. Then, test your limit.  Are you ok with one cup? Two? Only decaf? What about the timing? Only before 4pm? Noon? Do you notice even the smallest amount of caffeine keeps you awake?  Test the variables, but start at zero or close to zero if you can.

I’ve noticed that caffeine will keep me awake if I have it any time after 11 am.  And even then, I only have the tiniest bit of caffeine.  My body just does not do well with it.

I put chocolate into the caffeine category, btw.  If I have chocolate late in the day I most likely won’t sleep well (yes, I did a lot of intense experimentation on this one…sigh).

What’s your threshold?  What’s your time limit for cutting off caffeine?

Trust that your body will adjust.

• Sugar.  Avoid processed/refined sugar if possible.  As if!

But seriously:  How much sugar are you eating in a day, including fruit and starchy veggies?  I invite you to write down every time you have some sugar.  Then see how late you are having it in the day.

Sugar too close to bedtime can signal to our bodies that it’s time to party!  Work! Get stuff done!  I know my brain starts organizing and thinking when my blood sugar increases.  I lay awake for hours as my liver and other organs try to figure out what to do with all that sugar that I dumped inside of me.  Talk about mixed signals, lol!

I put alcohol in this category too.  I love a good cocktail now and then, but try to limit to once a week, and even then, I try to have it early in the evening.  If I am late with my imbibing I will fall asleep and then, like clockwork (haha), awaken after 45 minutes.  Alcohol can really mess with our liver’s ability to do its job and it also wreaks havoc with melatonin (the chemical that signals to our bodies when it’s time to sleep).

• Protein. If you find you are hungry in the evening, I invite you to experiment with having a small protein snack before bedtime.  A beef or pork patty, jerky, nut butter… a glass of warm milk used to be the cure for sleep, possibly due to the proteins in milk.  Milk also has sugar, and many of us with autoimmune disease react to the proteins in milk, so this one is a sticky wicket.  Do your research and see what works for you.

I find that if I don’t have enough protein during the day, my body goes into “hunting and gathering” mode until I satisfy my hunger and cravings.

Regarding cravings, get to know your body’s signals.  Are you really craving sugar?  Or does your body really need some protein?  Take the time to check in and listen to your body.

• Exercise.  Move a LOT. Every day.  Moving “a lot” will be different for everyone.  For some this means just standing instead of sitting.  For others it’s a cardio class at the gym.

Getting outside helps as well. I always try to schedule in a long walk outdoors every day to get fresh air, sun, and to be away from my electronics.

• Light.  When the sun goes down, what does it look like to not reach for every lightswitch in the house?  How much light do you really need?  What time can you shut off the TV/computer to allow yourself a good hour of no screen time before bed?

I have two lights on timers in my living room.  One is a floor lamp, the other is a string of Christmas lights I never took down (laziness wins!), so it’s really minimal in terms of light.  The floor lamp goes off about 9pm, and that’s my signal to start winding down before the Xmas lights turn off and leave me stumbling around in the dark.

Play around with lights and timers if this intrigues you.  Or, find your own signals to remind you to keep it dark in the evening and at night.

• Bedroom environment. Keep it cool and dark. 65 degrees F/18C seems to be the temp where most bodies sleep the best.  I have my heat set to 62 starting at 8pm during the winter months.  It takes a while to get cool but by the time I’m in bed I’m yawning and just want to snuggle in.

Taking a warm shower or bath may be counterintuitive when we think about lowering the body temp in preparation for sleep, but, our bodies are masters of temperature regulation. About 60-90 minutes after exiting the bath/shower our body temp will drop, which may take a lot of energy.  Due to the body being tired and the drop in body temp, we may get sleepy.  Time for bed!

Keep that bedroom dark, too.  Blackout shades are the best. I love my heavy curtains, which do the trick of keeping out neighbor’s lights.

And:  No screens of any kind in the bedroom! Pretend you’re camping and don’t have an internet signal. A fun game for the whole family!

Yikes. I don’t know if I can do all that.

I trust you are realizing that there is no “magic pill” or “easy” button to reset sleep habits and regain good sleep patterns. These six things require avoidance of things we may love as well as consistency.

How confident are you that you can avoid what is listed above?  How confident are you that you can be consistent for, say, 30 days?

Yeah, I said 30 days.  I would have said 90 but I didn’t want to scare you off.

Problem is, most people don’t want to do the hard work.  And it IS hard to break habits.  But it takes time to really see results.

When you DO see those results and FEEL the benefits of a good night’s sleep, you’ll want to continue.  The motivation becomes very internalized – you know it helps, so, you just simply do it.

Prior to a habit becoming internalized, we may need external motivation to keep us on track.  Unfortunately, today’s rewards usually run along the lines of “a cookie” or “a nice latte in the afternoon” or “20 minutes on Facebook” – all of these things are kind of not the point when it comes to achieving good sleep!

Think of some rewards outside of social media and food.  Small things.  Is there a book you can’t put down?  Put it down until you have avoided sugar and caffeine for 2 weeks.  Really want that new blouse or pair of earrings? Wait until you have turned out the lights every night at 9pm for a week.  Dying to go for a weekend motorcycle camping trip?  Get your sleep in order first – trust me when I say that if you are riding a motorcycle for hours every day, your life depends on getting some good sleep.

You get the idea.  These are just random suggestions, be creative!

Speaking of motorcycle camping, some find that a week in nature does the trick quite nicely.  And yes, it’s quite a luxury to be able to do this.

Being in nature and away from electricity, social media, and with limited food at our disposal (unless you are RV camping, you can pack a heckuva lot into those things), as well as getting fresh air every day (and night!) and walking/hiking/swimming/fishing… you get the idea.

You can mimic this at home by putting your indoor lights/electronics on timers.  I know of people who even have their internet router and TV on timers!  8pm comes and BOOM!  Everything shuts down.  Whelp, might as well putter around and go to bed…

I know of others who have a rule that the “Kitchen Closes at 8pm”.  Pretend you are at a restaurant and there is no food available to you for the rest of the evening. I love this idea!

What is coming to mind for you as you read through this?  I hope at least some of this is of use to you, please let me know your thoughts by sending me an email.  As always, I look forward to hearing from you!

Sandy

I would love to be a support to you if you are looking to make either big or little shifts in your life. As your coach, I will listen deeply, offer empathy, and help you make sense of what’s going on in your life right now.  We can talk about anything that’s on your mind:

• accepting what is
• creating balance in your life
• working through emotions of grief, sadness, or loss
• helping you create new habits or structure in your life
• help you regain control if you are feeling out of control
• letting go of perfectionism when it comes to your health
• how best to manage stress and anxiety
• creating boundaries with family, friends, and co-workers
• giving yourself permission to just be – no matter where you are in your life.

To book your Complimentary “Meet & Greet” Session and Assessment, click here.

Sandy Swanson is a Certified Functional Health Coach (A-CFHC) and a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach (NBC-HWC).  You can learn more about her here and more about what coaching is here.