What To Do When The Sh*t Hits The Fan

This month has been exhausting, to say the least.

First, an alcoholic friend hit rock bottom a couple of weeks ago. It wasn’t pretty, many people were hurt in the process, and many others were left feeling so very helpless. Thankfully, he seems to be seeking help. We shall see if he is successful in his desire to make some changes.

Second, a work colleague of mine I had known for 20+ years died suddenly at the age of 64. He had some health issues over the years but had been doing SO well. It was a shock, and his absence has left a huge hole not only at the company where he works but also in so many of our hearts.

And because things always happen in threes, yesterday I received some family news that has blown my mind. The kind of news where you realize someone has been living a lie for the past 30 years, right under all of our noses. My world has been rocked.

It’s crises like these that really separate the boys from the men in the game of autoimmune disease.

It would be so easy to just say “F it all” and slip into old habits.

I remember many moons ago before I was diagnosed with autoimmune disease, I used to bake. A lot. Baking was my therapy, I was good at it, and, knowing what I know now about being mindful, I realize it was a practice in mindfulness for me. Baking is chemistry, you have to be precise, and if you weren’t paying attention to every detail, your cookies would suck. I would bake when I was angry, depressed, emotional, you get the idea.

A boyfriend I dated at the time would come over and see a pile of muffins or what have you, and he’d stop in his tracks and ask, “ok…. what’s wrong?”

And of course, baking was only half of it. The other – and more destructive – half was to consume all of that sugar. Felt so good going down, not so good later and in the following days.

Now, so many years later after knowing what I know about diet, sleep, stress, etc… I know better. It’s still not easy to handle a crisis, but, at least I know what my mind and body need and what to avoid.

In other words, I’ve gotten to know myself really, REALLY well.  Which has not been fun.  It’s been hard and frustrating and annoying.  But, I’m a better person for it and am able to deal with stress better as a result.

That all said: here are a few things to consider if you find yourself in a crisis.

Sleep. Protect it at all costs.

It’s easy to say “f*** it” and have a glass of wine before bed.  Hell, that’s what I did last night. I don’t do well with wine because of the histamines (I get really congested and breathing becomes an annoying process).  If I drink right before bed I also tend to wake with a start 45 minutes after falling asleep and then every 2 hours thereafter.  Oy.

I can count on one hand the number of drinks I’ve had this year.  There’s a reason I don’t drink much; sleep is the main reason.

Food.  Are you helping or hurting yourself?

Food is one place where I feel pretty untempted.  I have removed all triggers from my house (for me this would be alcohol, GF processed foods, chocolate, GF candy. In other words: SUGAR!).  The temptation is real, my friends.  In difficult times I go through the same dance:  Rummage angrily through all of the cupboards and fridge looking for that one ginger candy or old chocolate bar. I eventually give up and settle on some celery sticks or big bowl of cut-up fruit, but the ritual remains (speaking of habits…).

When in a crisis we tend to ignore our body’s signs.  Like hunger.  I wasn’t really hungry yesterday, but I did force myself to eat a 100% AIP compliant meal. Twice.  Glad I did as I needed the energy to focus on work and the crisis at hand.

When the anger and hurt really hit (still not true hunger), I did my dance and ended up eating those damn celery sticks. In the end I am always super glad to eat what I do, and am proud of myself for not succumbing to crap food.

Know your triggers and weaknesses when it comes to food.  Get them out of the house.

Exercise.

Get out there. MOVE. Walk. Run. Jump in place. Do yoga.  Every day. Several times a day if you can.  Take breaks from sitting at your desk if you work in an office job.  Getting the blood flowing eases the load not only on your body, but your mind, which makes it easier to handle stress.

Meditation.

My mindfulness practices have come a long way from “thoughtfully baking cookies” (and then not-so-thoughtfully eating them).  I now have a minimum of a 20-minute yoga/meditation practice every single day.  And lookie there, I’m checking the box for exercise too!

Even 5-10 minutes of sitting quietly and focussing on ONE thing – doesn’t matter what – will help train our “monkey mind” brain which can go ape-sh*t in times of crisis when we start worrying and ruminating and losing sleep and truly losing our minds.

Being able to be calm and focus on one thing in real life is one of the best gifts we can give ourselves.  Crisis or not.  Not having a focussed mind can be devastating in and of itself.

If you are curious about starting a meditation practice, check out the free Insight Timer app for great guided and timed meditation apps to get you started.

Support.

Find your friends and family that will listen, truly listen, and hold them close.  I can count those people on one hand (different hand than used for counting the number of drinks I’ve had so far this year, lol).

I don’t bother with people who don’t listen, steal my emotional thunder by making it about them, try to help by telling me what to do, who are on their phone texting when I’m talking. Nope.  If you want to be a better listener, check out “10 ways to have a better conversation” here.

If you don’t have someone to talk to and need to sort through things, then getting a coach might be something to think about.  Coaches help you sort out all of those thoughts and can give structure to what you need to do to move forward. I have a coach, and thank my lucky stars every day for her. If your crisis is a deep one, please find a therapist.

Don’t waste your “spoons” and emotional energy/time on those who won’t listen deeply and thoughtfully. Which leads me to:

Self-care.

Aside from sleep and food, what else are you doing for self-care?

What the proverbial sh*t hits the fan, this is where we truly find out how well we are doing with our “action plan” of health and healing.

In classical music, we have a saying when it comes to playing and performing:  “You’re only as good as your worst day”.

My worst day used to be eating a plate of double-chocolate-chip cookies and washing it down with a beer or two.  Talking to toxic people. Sitting my ass on the couch for hours watching mindless TV.  Ruminating and worrying and fantasizing about conversations (that never happened). Going out for fried bar food and drinks and then coming home and not sleeping. Spending mindless hours on Facebook.

My worst day now is meditating 5 minutes instead of 20.  Skipping the yoga class and going for a walk instead, even though I know I’d feel better doing a proper yoga class.  Eating a whole bar of chocolate in one sitting (why I don’t have it in the house!).  Catching myself ruminating and refocussing my thoughts several times a day.  Spending mindless hours on Facebook (still working on that one).

There is always work to be done, always progress to be made.  No one will ever be perfect (whatever that means).

But getting to know yourself really, REALLY well is probably the best thing you can do for yourself – at ANY stage of the game.  Knowing what your “worst day” looks like is very eye-opening.  Even writing the above has shown me 1) I have come a long way and 2) I still have some areas in my life that need work. Which is ok, it’s a work in progress. 🙂

That’s it for now.  Wishing all of you strength and peace.

Sandy

My offer to you.

In light of all that’s been going on in this world, I would like to offer you, dear reader, some coaching.

I will listen deeply, offer empathy, and help you make sense of what’s going on in the world right now. It does not have to be about nutrition or autoimmune issues. We can talk about anything that’s on your mind.

We can talk about anything that’s on your mind:

• creating new habits in this “new normal” – or maintaining current habits
• work challenges – either working from home or being out of work
• figuring out how to best spend your time with your now at-home children (and still retain your sanity)
• how to cope if you have too much free time, or if you are finding it hard to strike a work-time vs. free-time balance in light of recent changes
• how best to manage stress
• guilty feelings about not having to go work or the gym or maybe cheating on your diet
• feeling ok doing absolutely nothing for a while
• helping you create structure in your life and a plan moving forward – whatever that may mean to you
• help you regain control if you are feeling out of control
• if you are a health care worker, I can offer empathy and support for what you are facing right now.

To book your Complimentary “Meet & Greet” Session and Assessment, click here.

Be well, everyone, and I look forward to meeting you.

Sandy

Sandy Swanson is a Certified Functional Health Coach who received her training from Chris Kresser’s ADAPT Health Coach training course (A-CFHC) and is also a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach (NBC-HWC).  You can learn more about her here and more about what coaching is here.