Gaining Perspective.

I was working with a client last week who wasn’t sure what she wanted to work on in her session.  After a couple of ideas were tossed around, she said “I guess I just need some perspective.”

What does perspective mean?

Perspective in coaching means to look at something from a different angle.  If you had a Rubik’s Cube in your hand (yikes, dating myself here) you wouldn’t just look at one side.  You would need to turn the puzzle over and over in your hands, turning this side and then that.  Looking again.  Turning a few more sides.

And then voila! Solved!

I used this analogy with my client and she laughed and said “yeah right, I couldn’t ever solve one of those things!” (also dating herself, but never mind. I’m just glad she knew what I was talking about)

I then asked her, “What other ways could you think of to get all the colors on the correct sides?”  Her response was one I hear many times. After a long pause, she said “I don’t know”.

Which is bullshit. I would never, EVER say that to a client, of course, but I do find myself saying it to myself when I get stuck and think “I don’t know”.

We *always* have the answers within us.  We just don’t realize it. Yet.

This client, like many of us, was so trapped in one way of thinking that she failed to see other options.  She needed to first put the puzzle down on the table, first, to get an even clearer view.  Or even step into another room – far enough away to gain even more perspective.

More on how I would go about solving a Rubik’s cube in a moment, but first:

Questions to ask yourself to help gain perspective.

Let’s say you want to change your diet, but are struggling to get started.  Here are a few questions to help get you out of your head and get a different perspective on things instead of just going in circles:

• • What would your “future-self” say about changing your diet? Think 3 or 6 months or a  year or more down the road.  What would that person say to your present self? Perhaps they might say “If you don’t start now, it will be 6 months later and you will be in the same place you are now.”

• • Where do you see yourself if you do change your diet? What about this scenario is exciting or enticing to you? In other words: What’s the best possible outcome here? Maybe you see yourself as not being stuck at home anymore, having more energy, reconnecting with friends you haven’t seen in awhile, being able to get out and go on long walks or hikes again with your dog.

• • Have you tried to change your diet before? Yes, this is a loaded question and some would answer with an emphatic “YES but I could never stick to it!”.  To which I would ask, what about that time (or times) is different than this time? What patterns do you see, if any? Look to the past to uncover information that might be of use moving forward. Perhaps in the past you’ve started a new diet on New Year’s Day.  What about this day is the best (or maybe not the best) time of year for you to undertake such an endeavor? Is there another date that would make more sense and help better your chances for success? Learn from your past experiments. What was good – or not so good – about them?

• • How would changing your diet be in line with your values and beliefs? An example of this might be: My family, and especially my kids’ health is really important to me, so I want to set a good example for them. I also want to be around for them when they graduate from high school, college, get married, etc.

• • When you look at your environment, how is this helping or hurting your chances to succeed in changing your diet? Example: If you want to reduce sugar, having a dish of candy on your desk may not be helping.  Or bringing home treats from your neighbor’s birthday party. How can you clean up your environment to help ensure your success?

• • When you think of supportive friends and family, what would you say to them if they were going through a similar struggle?

Perspective is not a solution.

It may be helpful to remember that these questions are not meant to solve your problem, they are simply ways to help uncover a little bit more information. Information that you already have within you (the client always knows!).

It is with this information you can hopefully move a little bit of the haze and fog away and get a clearer view of your situation.

So. How DOES one solve a Rubik’s Cube?

As far as that Rubik’s Cube goes, my client did come up with one possible solution which we both had a good laugh about: peel off all the stickers and put them back in the “correct” places.  A bit unorthodox, and it might be considered “cheating”. But, if getting all the same colors separated and on their own sides was the desired outcome, job done!  I applauded my client for her creativity and thinking “outside the box”, as it were.

My possible solutions include not only putting the puzzle down and walking away from it for a while but perhaps also getting online to research a little bit.  Maybe Googling “how to solve a Rubik’s Cube” or buying a book on the subject.  Getting information to help better inform my choices instead of randomly turning one side of the puzzle after another, doing the same thing over and over again, hoping for a good outcome.

This brings me to another point:  never underestimate the value of asking for support from someone to help you gain perspective.  Asking for help can be very empowering, especially when solving your own unique puzzles.

Speaking of unique puzzles, this landed in my in-box last week, and at the time of writing this I’ve watched it 3 (ok 4*) times.  The best 24 minutes of your day, guaranteed!  And a great lesson in looking at a puzzle from many (and then many more) different perspectives – and also realizing that you do have the answers within you.

You just gotta keep looking.

Until next time!

*maybe 5 tops. Definitely not 6…

My offer to you.

In light of all that’s been going on in this world, I would like to offer you, dear reader, some coaching.

I will listen deeply, offer empathy, and help you make sense of what’s going on in the world right now. It does not have to be about nutrition or autoimmune issues. We can talk about anything that’s on your mind.

We can talk about anything that’s on your mind:

• creating new habits in this “new normal” – or maintaining current habits
• work challenges – either working from home or being out of work
• figuring out how to best spend your time with your now at-home children (and still retain your sanity)
• how to cope if you have too much free time, or if you are finding it hard to strike a work-time vs. free-time balance in light of recent changes
• how best to manage stress
• guilty feelings about not having to go work or the gym or maybe cheating on your diet
• feeling ok doing absolutely nothing for a while
• helping you create structure in your life and a plan moving forward – whatever that may mean to you
• help you regain control if you are feeling out of control
• if you are a health care worker, I can offer empathy and support for what you are facing right now.

To book your Complimentary “Meet & Greet” Session and Assessment, click here.

Be well, everyone, and I look forward to meeting you.

Sandy

Sandy Swanson is a Certified Functional Health Coach who received her training from Chris Kresser’s ADAPT Health Coach training course (A-CFHC) and is also a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach (NBC-HWC).  You can learn more about her here and more about what coaching is here.