Hashimoto’s: I have Hashimoto’s. What does that even mean?
Seems like a silly question, but it inspires the follow-up: When did I choose to acquire this Hashimoto’s thing?
Most of us would say oh HELL no, I would never ever dream about choosing a stupid disease. Nope. Maybe it chose us for some reason, but no, we would never choose such a life.
So then why do we hold such ownership over what we didn’t choose?
Why are we so attached to our illnesses…?
We get attached to our illnesses because we tend to be attached to things. People, possessions, why not illnesses? It’s hard to let go once we attach ourselves to something. It becomes a part of us and becomes comfortable.
And this is why we may find it hard to heal.
The picture above is of my sofa. I chose to purchase this monster in 1999 and paid $1350 for it. It was the first furniture purchase I ever made. I still have the receipt and some fabric swatches (glad I didn’t go with the ugly green) from the furniture store on 22nd and Broadway.
This sofa saw me through several boyfriends, marriage, divorce, and three cats. It traveled with me from NYC to Illinois and has been here on the first floor of this house for 17 years (save for that year when my tenant and I dragged it up the front stairs to the second floor. The sofa was stuck in that stairwell for about 30 minutes, which was both hilarious and terrifying. What if it was stuck there forever? Yikes! It wasn’t, thanks to some pivoting and pushing).
The sofa was with me when I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s.
This couch saw me through the depression that came with the Hashimoto’s. It was my constant companion (along with my cats, of course) when I couldn’t bear to go out and face the world. I would lay for hours on that sofa when I was experiencing infertility woes.
And today, I sold it for $100 to some college kids.
I have very mixed feelings about this, as I tend to get attached to things. I’m getting better at this type of detachment, but it’s still hard to “let go”.
But when the sofa leaves for some grad students’ house on Monday, I’ll have more space. I’ll need to dust, of course, because lord knows I rarely moved that thing to vacuum underneath it (yikes again).
Once the sofa is no longer mine, I’ll have more room. Looking at the empty space will be quite jarring, but it will open up possibilities and new experiences. Which is quite exciting!
The experience of Hashimoto’s
My wonderful Mentor Coach introduced me to the idea that we do not “have” illnesses or symptoms, we are merely “experiencing” them.
Wrapping my head around this was… interesting, to say the least. But the more I considered “experiencing” Hashimoto’s, instead of “having” it, the more I liked this idea.
I wasn’t connected to Hashimoto’s. It was just this thing out there in the world that I happen to be experiencing right now. I didn’t choose it. I didn’t pay $1350 for it at some furniture shop.
It was, and is, merely an experience. So the question now is:
How do I want to relate to this experience?
Do YOU identify closely with your illness?
What language do you use around your illness? About having it, having symptoms – or experiencing symptoms?
What language would you rather use, if anything?
What does this mindset do for your body? for your energy?
What is it telling the people around you?
In what way do you want to relate to your experience of autoimmune disease?
Changing my languaging around my experience of Hashimoto’s gave me space.
It gave me more room. It distanced me from this autoimmune disease thing and allowed me the opportunity to look at it from a different angle, to consider what it was all about.
My body has relaxed as a result. I’m not clinging to this thing I didn’t even want in the first place. I feel like there are possibilities open to me that I didn’t see before. There’s room to breathe. Room to move.
Yeah, I had to do quite a bit of dusting and cleaning when I shifted my language (did I mention yikes?). But realizing I had the power to choose to make this shift – and the power to choose how I wanted to relate to this experience – these things also opened up space for me.
Amazing what a small shift in perspective can do!
Now, on to deeper matters and questions:
What to do with all of this newfound floor space??
I would love to be a support if you are looking to make either big or little shifts in your life and what beliefs you currently hold surrounding your health and autoimmune disease. To book your Complimentary Session and Assessment, click here.
Sandy Swanson is a Certified Functional Health Coach (A-CFHC) and a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach (NBC-HWC). You can learn more about her here and more about what coaching is here.
